So obviously we had to get engagement photos done. We did that in May of 2011. Our photographer, Lisa Chasse, was amazing and we got a lot of good photos out of the shoot. You know what else I got? A reality check. Yeah, I had been delusional, evidently. I knew I was overweight, I just didn't realize HOW overweight. Until I saw this picture.....
I cannot begin to express the devastation I felt when I saw this picture. Is that really me? When did I get THAT big? How did this happen? How am I going to look beautiful in a wedding gown? Why does he even want to marry me? And I cried. A lot. And I thought about all the reasons why I hated myself and why I was worthless. And I cried some more and probably ate some french fries and pizza covered in Ranch dressing, followed by ice cream or brownies, while I cried. Then I probably cried for eating all that crap. It's a vicious cycle, really. Ultimately, however, this picture changed my life. Once I got over wallowing in my own self hatred, I decided to make some changes. I became determined to conquer my fat girl. She WOULD NOT win. She would not take me out like this. I AM capable of changing this. I am strong enough to turn this around. It's not too late. So I got to work....
Oh Maggie. I don't even know what to say about this. One part of me is horrified that seeing your photo made you cry - I don't want anyone to feel bad about their pictures. But the bigger part of me thinks that it was meant to be. Look what it started!! And you betcha, fat Maggie is dead and long gone. RIP (no...burn in Hell) Fat Maggie AND fat Lisa. Long live the new Queens! Love ya girl!
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